Letter from brother in law

Below you will see an example of a letter that references beneficiary's brother stating the extreme hardship that the petitioner would suffer. I would really appreciate any feedback if any. Again pls DO NOT COPY MY LETTES, THESE ARE HERE AS A GUIDE AND TO GIVE YOU SOME IDEAS. PLEASE CHANGE THE INFORMATION AND MAKE IT APPLICABLE TO YOUR SELF. This is simply to give you an idea because I know how hard It is.